i. am. mona.

Love scientist

dear you,

You know who your are
do not lie
though your covered in cheap make-up
and ratchet hair dye

come to my face
and tell me the truth
say you love him
don’t you or do?

don’t be shy
my hands do contain
hydrogen peroxide
and pH -20 acid rain

so when you done
with all your lies
you’ll show your face
then he’ll make you cry

i told you once
i’ll tell you again
these people are fuckers
because they’re men.

sincerely,
     the scientist

restrictions

i am a monster
emerging from a cave
i am a monster
who must learn to behave

but what am i doing
here in my lair
what am i doing
pulling my hair

trapped between
bi-lipid walls
caught between
arterial halls

my muscles sit
dormant now
my muscles stay
relaxed… just for now.

 

Weaknesses

My eyes are weak
My head is numb
My aching body has succombed

In helpless fights
And sleepless nights
I need to find the rum.

No, not now
My body shouts
My thought are thought aloud

Little we kno
About this show
A person in the crowd.

Still cant find the rum…
Still cant find it, mum!

Back on that blogging grind… kind of.

i decided to log back onto my tumblr. i guess it’s safe to say that this is the first time in almost half a year i have decided to actually post something meaniful… or not meaningful, but i’ll let you decide on that factor.

however, i am back on that blogging grind. no, i do not “blog” on tumblr because the art of reposting what other people write is like  a copyright infringement and plagiarism… except you probably cite the actual source, but we’ll disregard that becaust that is not my point.

What is the blogging world? cuz the last time i checked, it was about posting what you think, not of what other people thought first. (hence my very few “reposts” on my feed.. or tumblr… or whatever you kids call it these days)

so long story short, i am back to blogging for the summer on my website:

http://monasBLAHg2.weebly.com <—-PLEASE NOTE THERE IS A 2 AFTER MONASBLAHG. if you don’t put the two, you will directed to my old blog that i had in high school that still says “i will be a junior in hs in the fall of 2010” in the about me section… though i may look like i’m a junior in hs, i certainly don’t feel like one and i would like to keep it that way.

regardless, i am here on tumblr! and though probably only 30 people follow me, i would like to thank whoever took the time to read this and whoever took the time to actually click on that link.

you guys are the bomb.

My Pre-Antioch Public Service Anouncement: It’s not the end, only a new beginning

So i started writing this in Kim’s class 1st period and decided to keep on writing (and you know when i keep on writing, it goes until 8th period servidio and beyond that). so just relax and enjoy this preantioch shpiel. it’s not only about antioch btw… it’s my overall retreat experiences an random events on retreats that i remember. it’s quite the entertainment. OHKAY HERE GOES NOTHIN!’

by the way, majority of this is just reminiscing, so you can skim through is you like.

Reflection on the end, but it’s only a new beginning.

It’s been a while. four years to be exact. i’ve done many things in this time frame. good things. bad things. scary things. concerning things. glorious things. inspiring things. happy things. things that involve letters, numbers, more letters. even things that involve petting monkeys and emus. Nevertheless, I guess it is safe to say that i have successfully crammed in hundred of great and not so great events in my high school career. *CONGRATS AND SNAPS FOR MONA*<—not like that was conceited or anything.

So why i am writing this? It could be because i’m bored in class and need something to keep my eyes open. It could be that the math lesson i’m currently attempting to learn is not sinking into my cerebellum and cerebrum (same thing). Or maybe because i found piece of paper in my binder and it suddenly gravitated towards me. and though all of these reasons are of why i feel the need to put this pen to paper, there still is an actual reason why i want to write this, and i’ve been waiting four years for this time to come.

An innocent and small freshman i was indeed in the late winter of 2009, willing to try anything and become friends with anyone really. you name something, i would be interested (hence how i got into model un). This curiosity had landed me in the hands of complete strangers in princeton-plainsboro, new jersey. 12 people in 6 rainbow-colors, acting crazy. I guess i didn’t really know waht i had gotten myself into. As i placed the yellow lighthouse nametag around my neck and carried my huge-butt luggage to my room, I couldn’t really grasp what was happening, or the jist of reality for that matter. Surrounded by LARGE and SCARY sophomores who were screaming and yelling, let alone branding fear upon my forehead, i stood there, still, surrounded by the eleven freshman who actually decided to sign up for the occasion. It was like we were lost sheep being hearded together by the screaming hearding dogs, aka the sophomores. Next thing i know, i find out that King Kevin Albert is my prayer partner… and to tell the truth, i was thinking, “holy shit; i’m stuck with a football player.” I was clearly not dressed for the occassion. I mean, think about ALL those times you have been paired up with a not so bad looking, all muscle, football player; not many times, huh. And five minutes later, all 50 of us (11 of us being young, meek, fragile little frosh who hundled together like acrtic penguins the whole weekend) went into the a circle. And it was there, it hit me, as we wrote a random fact about ourself on a piece of paper (I specifically remember sitting next to Dory, and her random fact was “I eat bugs”… which by the way, is completely untrue… sister karen then said “well that’s no fun”.) and put these pieces of papers into the basket; i was preparing myself for one of the most life changing experiences of my life. I was on Visions 2009 (also known as V90).

To be honest, i don’t remember it a wholeee lot. afterall, this was almost four years ago. But this was a pivotal role in who i am today. Those 11 freshman? well, some of them are still my best friend ‘til this day. Like, i met Anthony Yakely this weekend, and this kid has been way more than a blessing in my life (sorry for the shout outs… i don’t like pinpointing people, i’ll try not to as much, but only when it’s absolutely crucial.) and if you know us, we’re ebony and ivory, ALL because of this weekend. I met liam, and emily, and sarah m (i think), and emelia, and jade, and dory, and adam, and sooo many other people. Gosh, had it not been for this weekend, i would not have been inspired to keep attending retreats. Now shout out to Matt Mueller and Mary Ellen because they were awesome leaders (still have my yellow bandana).

So more to the point…

If you have not known, these beautiful weekends have had influential impacts on my soul, my way of thinking, and everything in between. Let alone, these weekends have had a significant impact on my social life. It seems as if yesterday that i was wondering what to pack in my tiny suitcase and being driven (i had not taken the bus on my frist retreat) to St. Joes seminary because i lived 5 minutes away.

The following school year i had attended Revelations 2009. I will be completely honest, this was the most memorable retreat i had ever gone on. I guess it was my first retreat where i REALLY knew what i was doing, what to expect, how many pairs of underwear i really needed, how to smuggle food etc. I was now the experienced pro wearing glow in the dark pajamas running through the hallways. ( i know, you wish you were me). I remember all of us (and when i say us, i mean ‘us girls’) begging Christian Anderson to play us a song that would take our breaths away. And there’s the theme song, everytime i hear “You neverr change,” i envision mara totally breaking down into rockstar mode. What sealed the deal with me, however, is the red group. One of the Best groups i have ever been a part of. Man, looking back, we were sooo emotional. like EXTREMELY. Like so emotional, i’m kinda concerned as i look back. haha. But Rev, rev rev rev rev… SUCH a good weekend. Definitely concidered top of my list.

A year and a half later after i traveled the sahara, had dinner with the president, found a solution for global warming and polution, and found the cure for cancer (this is all pure sarcasm, for all of you gullible people who need clarification) I went on my first ever, spring ANTIOCH. (XLI). Life changing? you bet. I guess being on such a long retreat hiatus, i kind of needed to be reminded of things and let things go. Afterall, a WHOLE lot can happen within a year and a half, especially when you’ve just transitioned from a young sophomore to a late junior. My leaders, berto and christine, MAD amazing people; you should try to get to know them. hahaha. If you are a sophomore or even a junior and you are reading this, YOU BETTER GO ON ANTIOCH. Don’t pull off a “I don’t like retreats” kind of personality; i will punch you. O my goodness i cannot explain my love for this retreat. So better off to say GO ON IT. So after discussions about goign to frauhenheim’s for farting and wolfy losing his damn mittens, this group is my favorite group, just because we are so damn hilarious and awesome. i mean, we went out for sushi. DID YOUR COLOR GO OUT FOR SUSHI!? YEAH DIDNT THINK SO. jealous muuuchhh. I loved everyone there. and etc (i’m running out of time writing this so i’m gonna speed this up a little bit)

A month later (by now i have grown wrinkles and enormous bags underneath my eyes, along with a cane and a wheelchair), i was given the BLUETIFUL opportunity to be a RevII leader. for all of you who came, ORANGE YOU GLAD you came?! I was so REDDY for this weekend. It was such a PURPECT weekend <3 just me with 11 awesome people, who forgot about the mango ritas ( i think about greg everytime i get mango rita’s). I would CATCH A GREENADE for any of my team members. They all rock… PINKALICIOUS <3

Lastly, there was Antioch XLII my senior year. AKA Winter Antioch.  Again one of the best retreats i have been on in my IHS experience. And of course, i was in the Pink group <3 <3 (PINK FO LYFE YO). Ever since RevII and AntiochXLII, i’ve grown very accustomed to the color pink; i’m like having an affair with the color pink. i love it that much. ANYWAYS, this retreat was da bomb. I think this is one of the only retreats where i was actually completely impacted by the talks. Completely mindblown (in a good way) because i knew how i felt. I knew how they felt. It’s so hard to describe the feeling if you havn’t been on. it was just so… AWESOME for lack of a better word.

So…. I’m sorry to bore you with my incredible remiscing, however it was to happen in order for me to get to my point.

As i pack for Antioch XLIII, i cannot help but to reminisce on such wonderful memories. After have gone of 5 Lata retreats, it’s hard to imagine that this weekend will be my final and last retreat… at ihs. I secretly don’t want to go just because i dont want it to end. I wonder why time flies by so quickly. I wonder why everything must come to an end. Each and every one of these retreats i’ve been on has had a huge impact on me, whether it’s during the retreat, after the retreat, later in life, etc. I know that i will take something from each and every one of them.

Antioch XLIII. Bring it on to me. I have one final chance to find myself completely. I have one final chance to experience this phenomenal experience. I’m ready to change. I’m ready to face my fears. I’m ready for all of it to come. And though i may be sad that it is coming to an end, saying “goodbye” is like saying “hello” to another journey, another path, a new life.

Antioch XLII. bring on the end. bring it on. (and no, i don’t mean cheerleading).